“Integrating responsibility into children is not a gimmick, but simply teaching them life skills”, says Karen Ruskin, author of: The 9 Key Techniques for Raising Respectful Children Who Make Responsible Decisions. “Kids who don’t have responsibilities feel entitled and think the world will always do something for them”.

And responsibility is not simply completing a task. “It’s also about an attitude, about the idea of ​​taking action and being proud to do it, not just having your mom and dad do it for you”, says Alex Barzvi, co-host of talk show: About Our Kids.

Raising good and useful children who know how to make a sandwich is not a fantasy! We asked our experts for easy ways to incorporate responsibility into a child’s life, and here are some tips:

Start young

Mother and son folding laundry together.

You can’t suddenly make him take responsibility for a teenager and expect him to know how to deliver. Imagine your high school daughter calls you at work with the complaint, “Mom, I’m hungry. When will you come home?” You say: Make yourself a sandwich! She replies, “I’ll wait for you.” Giving children responsibility should start early, when they are still young.

Let them help you

Don’t whine and whine when it’s time to do chores. Smile and invite your child to help (even if it makes the job take longer). It’s teamwork, precious time with your child, and a lesson that will one day send him into the world with the ability to classify light and shadow.

“When your child is invited to participate, they feel valued”, says Dr. Ruskin. “He will take these good feelings and learn to own his home and he will be proud to keep it”.

Show your children the way

Play at a child’s skill level, both experts suggest. First, you can demonstrate how to complete small tasks. If your child wants a snack, show him where the apples are and how to wash one. Does your daughter always throw her dirty clothes on the floor? She places a basket in her room and show her where one day’s pants belong.

Make responsibilities age-appropriate and even use the word “responsibility,” says Dr. Barzvi; when informing your child about the tasks that you expect them to complete on their own, use this tip. Sounds grown up and important!

Responsibility model

Eliminate a table full of dirty breakfast plates with the phrase, “Now we put our plate in the sink”, when the meal is over. You use the same ‘we’ phrases over and over again to show how you can easily solve problems. Ask other family members and the babysitter to follow your example. You will be surprised how quickly these actions become a habit for children.

Praise them

Children love to help. They want to help. Keep a positive vibe by offering specific praise for actions. « You hung your coat on the hook and I’m proud of you! » OR « Thank you for emptying the garbage from your room! «.

Children will develop a sense of ownership for any repeated action. And this constant communication helps them take the lead in other situations, says Dr. Barzvi, like at school or on a play date.

Manage your expectations

When you ask a five-year-old to make her bed, she may still be off balance. Do not criticize and recognize a job well done. The next time you make your own bed, show him how you do it.

Avoid rewards

At least at the beginning. There is a time and a place for bounties and subsidies, but both experts agree they must be held accountable. Don’t assume there must be a reward system in place for your child to learn responsibility. While a reward chart can be effective for some children, others respond just as well to praise, spending time together, and also feeling their self-confidence increase. Save rewards for chores that go beyond what you expect your child’s normal responsibilities at home to be.

Provide structure and routine
Children thrive in order. Instead of offering rewards for fulfilling their responsibilities, establish a morning routine with a positive end result. Your child should brush their teeth, eat breakfast, and get dressed before watching TV. (Note that TV is not offered as a reward, it’s just the result of finishing the routine.) And he should be able to complete the routine in whatever order works for him.

A younger child may not fully realize that these chores are his responsibilities, but you can allow him to create a healthy structure that will give him the tools to one day develop strategies to do homework without being bothered, Ruskin suggests.

teach consequences
Learning to take care of his things also helps the child develop a sense of responsibility for his actions. For your child to clean up after an art project, let him know that he won’t be able to play with his crayons and scissors until the next day if he leaves a messy table. So you should go ahead and take the supplies from him if he evades responsibility for it. The more you enforce the rules, the more likely he is to clean up without being asked, or at least without complaining too much.

” Ultimately, it’s your child’s decision not to put a toy away ,” says Dr. Barzvi. ” Parents are afraid to let children suffer, be sad or angry, but if we always solve children’s problems, they will not learn responsibility as they grow up .”

Source: Latinmoney